Women's History Month and Cheeseburgers

With February now over, I’m sure we can all say a warm welcome to March. The heralding month of Spring, I can already feel the change in the air; persistent sunshine, open windows, and everyone starts to put away their thickest woollen scarves, not to be seen again until next winter. And with Spring comes the inevitable Spring cleaning. I like to treat this time of year as a mental health check – the warmer weather makes us all feel a little brighter, and it’s a good time to shake off any lingering cobwebs in our minds.

Not many people know, but February featured Eating Disorder Awareness Week. And in March, it is Women’s History Month. Grab your favourite women, watch a show with your favourite actress, read a book by a female novelist, and feel empowered. I support the cause for every woman out there – of every shape, size, sexuality, gender, race, and religion. I love seeing the art and continuous inspirational projects that come out of things like Women’s History Month, and I know I’ll spend pretty much all of this month beaming with pride for my fellow gals.

Something related, and on a smaller scale, I wanted to talk about Eating Disorder Awareness Week. Not a very well-known cause, but a prevalent problem that affects an incredible amount of people, especially young women. This month, I’m thinking of all the women struggling with their body image, whether it be their size and the number on the scale, or dissociation with their gender and the body they have, or are simply unhappy looking in the mirror.

In a society that revolves around celebrity and diet culture, and how accessible social media is to all ages these days (hell, even my four-year-old sister knows how to operate Snapchat), it’s easy to fall into the trap of becoming fixated on body image. I can barely keep up with the newest fads like your hip to glute ratio (thanks, Kylie Jenner), the ever-coveted thigh gap, the arch of your brow, and how long you can grow your hair. The statistics around eating disorders and body image in young girls is harrowing – 92% of teenage girls would like to change something about the way they look. At least 40% of girls aged 9-10 years old have tried dieting. I didn’t even know what the word diet was at that age – but the word “fat” has now become synonymous with “stupid”, “ugly”, “worthless”, and is thrown around as an insult before young girls can realise how big of an effect that word can have.

The women we most admire in the world of celebrity aren’t innocent of diet talk either – from as far as Jennifer Lawrence bragging about eating a plateful of fries before an awards event, to the latest young reality star splashed across the tabloids for showing a bit of cellulite on holiday. There are two problems here: in Lawrence’s “look at me, I’m a real girl who eats pizza, get the salad away from me” attitude, she promotes not only unhealthy eating habits, but succeeds in putting down all those young girls who do enjoy a salad. Her act isn’t relatable, it’s tiresome. I love fries, but I also know not to put so much starchy, fried crap into my body every day.

And to the reality stars named and shamed for gaining two pounds on their holiday, why does society accept that just because they’re in the public eye, their bodies are for public discussion? Holidays are for enjoying yourself and escaping mundane life – whether that’s your weekly gym routine, your 6am alarm for work, or a dreaded essay deadline. We’ve all indulged on holiday, because that’s the one time you’re allowed to do so without feeling guilty. Why do we not give our celebrities and public figures that same courtesy? When did we become so obsessed with our bodies? When did getting fat become synonymous with failure?

I’m getting into an industry that thrives on public discussion. Actors are under scrutiny their whole career, and if you really make it big, the paparazzi will hound you for life. Your every angle will be photographed, every dress torn apart in a review, every hair out of place criticised. I’m wholly prepared for that scenario, if it will ever happen. But it still makes me wonder: why? Will the world end if Emma Stone shows a wrinkle on her face? Will the sky fall down if Kate Winslet reveals she had plastic surgery?

Why do we care so much?

And I ask this, not on my high horse, but because I once cared way too much and I still don’t know the answer. In my last few years at school, from around the age of 16 or so, I suffered from disordered eating. EDAW is close to my heart, because I’ve been there. I’ve cried over the number on the back of a cereal bar, because the carb count was too high and I had already eaten my calories for the day but I was just so hungry. I’ve been the girl who can’t lift her hand in class because she’s too weak from starving herself. I’ve had arguments with countless people who really, truly cared about me and were concerned, but I just didn’t want to listen because I was too scared they’d make me eat something and fill my gaping, hungry stomach. It’s a mental illness, and sometimes illnesses just keep coming back no matter how many booster shots and preventative actions you take against them. It’s hard to shake off an eating disorder just like that.

Being exposed to the celebrity diet culture, to having images of thin, beautiful women thrust in my face on the front of magazines and in my favourite films, meant I could not help but compare myself to them. In my head, to be a successful actor, I had to look like that.

I realised, then, why it is so important that we see a range of men and women on screen – of all colours and shapes and sizes and backgrounds. To see every type of women represented in media shatters the illusion that there is only one ideal to strive toward.

I condemn you, celebrity culture. I will not listen to the diet fads, to the “quick fit abs” articles, to the next super food craze, or to the best workout to slim down my thighs.

If I am to become an actor, I will be an actor with this body – with my broad shoulders and my crooked jaw, with my strong legs and bumpy nose.

My attitude toward food, toward my body and the way I perceive diet culture and our obsession with food and health, as a society, is different now.

People often ask me why I eat so well; why I choose to fill my body with nutritious, good foods, and why I stick to my workout regime, and why I know so much about macronutrients and metabolisms. Yes, it’s because some of that is left over from being obsessed with the way my body and the food I ate, but now there’s a better purpose for my knowledge.

I would like to believe that the world of acting and creating theatre is driven by dedicated, disciplined actors who love their craft. I am an actor: I must use my body as a tool on stage; I must be able to have exceptional stamina to keep up with rigorous rehearsals and choreography; I must keep myself healthy, and fit, to participate in movement classes and physical workshops.

My body deserves only the best, and so I will treat it as such. Nothing frustrates me more than when people think I’m judging their food choices, or their body type, because I’m not joining in with them whilst they eat their slice of pizza and I’m eating some broccoli. I had my pizza yesterday thanks, and I don’t care a single iota about what you’re eating. I really, really don’t care. I’m not judging you – the amount of times I’ve had someone say, “Well, you must think I’m so fat if you exercise so much. You’re already skinny!”

Funny, how people become so defensive when it comes to food.

I would never look down on someone because they hate vegetables and prefer a cheeseburger. I love cheeseburgers too, and I will damn well eat one when I want too. But I also do really love eating some sweet potato and chicken. Balance, amiright?

Let’s not pit ourselves against each other. What we fuel our bodies with is not a competition, it’s a personal preference. We’re no better or worse than each other, no matter what we eat. This month especially, take time for yourself and practise some self-love. Eat that pizza. Or don’t. It’s your choice. Let’s think critically about the media we consume, and its impact on our body image. This month, support your fellow gals – and most important, support yourself. You are the only person who you’re gonna be with forever.